Dream Run
by danfic
Summary: (A danisnotonfire fanfic). Sometimes, the only good things in life are the ones that are make-believe.
1. When he was 15, he snapped

Chris Kendall was only a small boy when he met Alice for the first time. She had shown up in her pale blue dress with dirty, grey sandals, her hair in bunches. Chris' parents never really understood the relationship between Chris and Alice, as she was adopted. They expected Chris to take an instant dislike to her but in fact, it was quite the opposite. They played together every day, down by the swings in the local park. They told each other their secrets; secrets they would never dare tell anyone else. They played hide-and-seek, running around the grassy park until their parents called them inside for dinner. They were best friends. When Chris was 15, he snapped. Alice, who was 13, waved at him from behind their mother's back when she scolded Chris, laughing to herself; like she was mocking him. Then Chris' parents had him admitted, he remembers the day like it was only yesterday.

'Dad! Please, no!' Chris cried as his father drove him to the hospital. 'Don't make me do this!'

'Son, it's for your own good' his father replied as he gently held him by the wrist. 'You won't be in here for long, son. Just until you become a little more _sane_'.

'Mum?' Chris turned to his mother, whose eyes were wet with tears. Alice stood by her side, staring at the white linoleum. His mother only shook her head at him once.

They reached the check-in point at the mental hospital and Chris' father had to gently prise Chris' fingers off his shirt.

'Bye son, we'll visit you soon' they had promised.

Alice ran up to Chris and hugged him goodbye, her red hair against his cheek. 'I'll visit you soon' she said, hooking her pinky finger in his before running off to join his departing parents.

Chris' parents visited frequently at first but it became less and less as the years drew on. They promised him he'd only be there for a short time, but they were lying, he knew that. In the beginning; his parents visited him every week, then it turned to every month, then every few months until it stopped completely. It was only Alice who had kept her promise; she visited Chris every day, without fail.

It was only Chris and a few other patients at the start, and gradually as the years went on, they were released. Chris was stuck, deserted and his hope was fading.

It was the beginning of 2012 when a new boy was admitted, it was Alice who had notified Chris of his appearance.

'Hi' Chris introduced himself to the new patient. 'I'm Chris, Chris Kendall'.

The new boy pushed his hair away from his tanned face, revealing dark brown eyes. 'I'm Dan' he said quietly. 'Dan Howell'.

'I'm Alice' Alice piped up from behind Dan and he turned to face her. 'I'm Chris' sister'. Dan smiled slightly before turning back to face Chris, Alice's smile dropped slightly.

'How long have you been here?' Dan asked Chris as they sat down at the dinner table. It was only those three in the room.

'Seven years' he replied monotonously.

Dan was silent for a moment. 'Do your parents visit you?'

Chris didn't answer for a few moments; he was reluctant to share such private information with a stranger. 'At first they did' he admitted. 'But now they don't, only Alice does'. He turned to smile at his sister.

'I wish I had a sibling' Dan said. 'But I only have a roommate, Phil'.

The pair carried on chatting until dinner time was over and the hospital's visiting time was over.

Chris and Dan walked Alice to the exit of the hospital.

'See you tomorrow' Chris said to Alice, hugging her goodbye.

'Yep. Bye Dan' she said shyly to him. 'I've got work to do anyway'.

She exited the hospital and Chris and Dan made their way upstairs to get their medication.

'So, how old are you?' Dan asked Chris as they waited in line.

'22' Chris replied. 'You?'

'21' Dan replied.

Their names were called and two white pills were dropped in their hands. They both swallowed them dry before walking to their rooms. Chris said goodbye to Dan as he stopped outside his room and entered.

His room was completely white; a dirty white tiled floor and peeling white paint on the walls. A single iron bed was pushed in the corner of the room and the room was illuminated by a dim light. The window had no curtains but it was covered by iron bars; he was trapped.

Chris shed his clothes and climbed into bed, pulling the thin sheets over his body. His eyes felt heavy and he allowed them to close, drifting off into a deep sleep. This was his routine, day in, day out, and had been for the past seven years. He wondered if he would ever escape this place. But somehow, he doubted not.


	2. Am I mad?

Chris woke up at 9am the next day, like usual. He stretched before pulling on yesterday's clothes and exiting the room to get his morning medication. The woman deposited the white pills in Chris' outstretched palm and he closed his hand around them, waiting to get a drink. He didn't like swallowing pills dry.

'Morning' he heard a voice say from behind him.

Chris turned around and saw Dan there, his eyes half closed and his dark hair ruffled. His brown eyes were ringed with dark circles.

'Morning' he replied. 'Bad night's sleep?' He asked sympathetically.

Dan nodded. 'Shit. Does it get better?'

Chris considered telling Dan the truth but he thought against it. 'Yeah, it does'.

'Good to hear' Dan replied. 'Alice coming again today?' He asked.

'She hasn't missed a day in seven years' Chris replied softly.

He waited for Dan to collect his medication and both boys walked to the dining hall. They sat down on the white seats after grabbing a glass of water. In silence, they swallowed the pills, Dan shuddered ever so slightly.

'So, what's there to do around here?' Dan asked, glancing around at the solitary hall, bar the two dark haired boys.

'Nothing' Chris replied.

'Nothing?' Dan echoed.

'Nothing' Chris repeated. 'You get used to it. In the end, you can barely distinguish between the days'.

Dan's eyes widened and Chris felt slightly bad at his blunt response.

'I have a meeting with Dr Fischer at 9:30am' Dan said. 'Do you know where his office is?'

Chris nodded in reply. 'Yeah, he's my doctor too. I'll take you there'.

'Thanks' Dan replied. 'Shall we go now?'

Both boys rose and exited the empty hall. There was never any breakfast on offer anyway. They walked down the baron halls, their feet thudding against the dirty floor.

'Do you get lonely here?' Dan suddenly questioned Chris.

Chris was silent for a moment. 'Nope' he shrugged. 'Like I said, you get used to it. And I have Alice'.

'She seems like a nice sister'.

'She's the best…' Chris trailed off as he stopped outside a green door. 'We're here'.

'Cheers' Dan thanked Chris. 'See you later?'

'See you' Chris said before he walked off.

Dan ran a hand through his messy hair before knocking on the door, its paint peeling off.

'Come in!' A voice boomed out and Dan pushed open the door. 'Daniel Howell, right?' A tall man with a trimmed beard said, glasses perched on the end of his slightly too-big nose.

'Yeah, that's me' Dan said awkwardly, wondering if he should sit or stand.

'Admitted here yesterday?' Dr Fischer questioned him. 'Have a seat' he gestured to the wooden chair behind his desk.

Dan sank gratefully into the seat. 'Yeah'.

'Who admitted you?'

'Um, well, my flatmate, Phil, sent me to a doctor's and they sent me here, I guess' Dan mumbled.

'Good good' Dr Fischer said. 'You had two bouts of medication this morning, am I right?'

'Yeah'. It seemed like Dan's vocabulary was only limited to this singular word.

'Well, we'll keep you on that for a while and see how you go. And if anything changes, good or bad, we'll alter it. Chances are we'll have to increase it, looking at your history'. The doctor says, staring at Dan's medical file in front of him.

'Alright, um, okay'. Dan mumbled. 'Am I allowed visitors?'

Dr Fischer shook his head. 'Not at first, Daniel. But if you progress, then yes'.

'How come?' He queried.

'Well, at first, it's difficult for the visitor to see a patient in this state, it can affect them too' Dan opened his mouth to speak but the doctor ignored him. 'It can also negatively affect the patient, which will set back their progress time'.

Dan was silent for a minute. 'Right' he said eventually.

'I'll see you this time next week, Daniel. But if you have any problems, then don't hesitate to come to me, understood?'

'Yeah' Dan replied, looking around the office. Like the rest of the hospital, it was basically empty. There was no photos hanging on the walls, no colour, no sign of life.

Dan rose and departed the office. He managed to find his way back to the bedrooms without too many mistakes and he found Chris in his room, lying on his bed with his hands behind his head.

'Chris?' Dan called out. 'Can I come in?'

He heard a grunt from Chris and he took that as a yes. He cautiously walked in and sat down on the end of his bed. Chris didn't seem to register Dan but continued to stare out of the barred window.

'Chris?' Dan asked and Chris blinked, finally registering Dan.

'Yeah?'

'How come you've been in here so long?' Dan began to twist the sheets in between his fingers, awaiting the reply.

Chris simply shrugged. 'I haven't been getting better, I guess. Alice is the only one getting me through this'.

'Chris?'

'What?'

'Am I mad? Is that why I'm here?'

'We're all mad here, Dan'.


	3. You said you wouldn't leave him

Chris and Dan stayed silent for a while, Chris' words running round and round in Dan's head.

'Hi!' a voice suddenly said. 'Can I come in?'

Chris and Dan both turned around to see Alice standing in the doorway. Her red hair was loose around her shoulders and her green eyes sparkled.

'Sure' Chris said. 'Come on in'.

Alice skipped through and sat down on Chris' bed, next to Dan. He stiffened at her presence and moved away from her ever so slightly. Dan turned to look at Alice, taking in her rosy lips and button nose.

'So Alice, how old are you?' Dan asked her.

Alice turned to look at him. '20' she replied. 'Yourself?'

'21' he said.

'I think I'm just gonna go stretch my legs' Chris suddenly said and without another word, he left the room.

'I'll make you a deal' Alice said gently, leaning forward, her eyes bright.

'That depends on what it is' Dan replied, his lips curving into a smile.

'If you're out of here by the time you're 25, I'll marry you' she laughed.

'I hardly know you' Dan replied, leaning forward to gaze into her green eyes.

'You've got four years Dan to get to know me before we get married' she giggled.

'Ok. And I'll make you a deal'.

'Go on' she replied, her eyes boring into his.

'If I'm out of here before you're 23, then you have to marry me. Even if it's tomorrow'.

'Deal' she leaned forward and shook Dan's hand. 'See you soon Dan' she said before she flitted from the room.

'What are you doing here, Alice?' PJ snarled as soon as he saw the striking redhead enter the café he worked in. 'Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?'

'Miss me?' Alice laughed, making her way up to the counter.

'No' he spat out. 'What do you want anyway?'

'Nothing' she replied, leaning on the counter. PJ inched back. 'Just wanted to pay you a visit'.

'Well, you've paid me a visit now, so can you please leave?' PJ snapped, turning to rearrange the signs on the counter.

'Like you left?' Alice retorted, thinking back to when PJ was in the hospital. He had gotten out three years ago once the doctors decided he had shown enough progress to be released. PJ had been fine since then; it only bothered him when Alice appeared. 'You left him' Alice said. Her gaze was making PJ uncomfortable.

'No' he shook his head venomously.

'Yes you did' Alice snarled, the happy tone in her voice now gone. 'You said Chris was like your brother and that you wouldn't leave him. But you did' her voice was bitter and cold.

'Afternoon PJ' another voice joined in.

'Hey Phil, how are you?' PJ replied, ignoring Alice.

'Good thanks, yourself?' Phil replied. 'Been keeping busy?'

'Fine and yeah, I have been. I've been pretty stressed recently though'. Phil replied. Alice turned to look at him. Tall, with black hair and blue eyes, he towered over the minute Alice. 'Can I have an iced coffee please?'

'Sure thing' PJ said as Phil wondered off to find a table.

'There's a new boy at the hospital' Alice informed PJ, hoping it would make conversation.

'I don't care' PJ replied, filling up a mug.

'What?'

'Jesus, will you listen? I said I don't care!' PJ spat out.

'I know you do' Alice retorted. 'His name's Dan. Dan Howell'.

At the mention of the name, PJ froze, his face registering shock. He knew Dan; he was one of his best friends. And he was Phil's flatmate.

'See, I told you that you'd care' she smirked at him. 'I know you better than anyone, PJ. I helped you escape from that damned hospital'.

'Get out' PJ snapped. 'I mean it Alice'.

'Fine' she grumbled, swinging her bag onto her shoulder. 'I'll tell Chris, and Dan, that you said hi'. She walked off in a huff, her flame red hair bouncing on her shoulders.

'You alright?' Phil asked as he walked up to the counter to collect his drink.

'Yeah' PJ replied, trying to shake off his initial shock.

Alice stood outside, shivering as she wondered which way to go. She heard laughter from inside the café. She didn't know much about Phil, only that he was Dan's flatmate and that he was a big household name in the radio presenting world.

A shrill noise suddenly rang out. 'Yeah?' Phil spoke into his phone. 'What?' His face had paled. 'I'll be right there'. Phil rushed up to the counter. 'How much do I owe you?' he asked PJ.

PJ shook his head. 'It's on me'.

'Thanks' Phil told his friend. 'I'll be with you as soon as I can' he spoke into the phone.

'What's going on?' PJ called out after Phil.

'Dan' he replied quickly. 'He's tried something' he said as he jumped into his car.

Alice's legs felt heavy as she watched the car sped off down the street in the direction of the hospital. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder and raced off. She needed to see Dan.


	4. He wanted her

'What room is Daniel Howell in?' Phil leant over the desk in the reception. 'I need to see him urgently'.

'I'm sorry Sir, I'm afraid that's not allowed' the receptionist replied, batting her eyelashes at the attractive man standing in front of her.

'Why not?' Phil snapped impatiently. 'I'm his flatmate. His best friend. I need to see if he's okay'.

'I'm sorry Sir, but they are doctors looking after Mr Howell, he's in safe hands' she replied irritably. 'Mr Howell is in lockdown, anyway'.

'Lockdown?' Phil repeated, his legs beginning to shake.

'Yes, Sir. That's what I said. You can either wait here for Mr Howell or go home. I'd advise you to go home; it'll be a while before you're allowed to know about his current state; let alone visit him'.

'Okay. Thanks' Phil said to her before exiting the hospital.

Dan paced the empty white room, his hands tangled in his dark hair. 'Goddammit' he muttered angrily to himself. He threw his hands up in the air in frustration and exhaled loudly.

'Mr Howell?' A nurse popped her head into Dan's room. 'Dr Fischer will see you now'.

Dan walked to the office quickly; he wanted to get this meeting over and done with. He already knew what Dr Fischer was going to say: his medication will have to be increased, he won't be allowed to be in contact with any other patients, and he will be isolated until they think he's not a danger to himself anymore.

'Come in Daniel' Dr Fischer said, opening the door to let Dan through. 'Take a seat and we'll begin, shall we?'

Dan reluctantly walked in and sat down on the chair, tapping his foot against the floor.

'Okay then Daniel, I'm going to be straight with you, alright? Due to your recent suicide attempt, we're going to increase your medication. You will have three pills to take in the morning, at midday and at night. We've also decided to move you to a separate ward so you're not a danger to anyone else or yourself, alright?'

'Will I still get to see some people?' Dan asked. He wanted to see Chris. And more importantly, Alice.

'That depends on who it is. If it's another patient here, then no. We don't want to set yours or the other patient's progress back'.

'Okay. Fine. Whatever. Dan sighed angrily.

'I understand it's hard for you to be on your own, but it's for the best, okay Daniel?' Dr Fischer said, leaning forward, his chin resting on his hands.

'Fine' Dan said, standing up to leave. 'See you next week?'

'Yes. A nurse will show you where you'll be staying from now on soon'.

'Bye' Dan muttered as he left Dr Fischer behind.

As he exited the office, a nurse grabbed him by the arm and led him along a maze of hallways to a new ward. His ward.

'Here's your new room' the nurse said. 'I'll be back later'.

Dan stepped inside and looked around. It had the same, peeling paint on the walls and dirty floor. The single white bed was the same but there was no window in the room. He was surrounded by 4, white walls, there was no escape.

'Psst' Dan heard a whisper from behind him.

'Alice?' he said incredulously, leaping up to great her.

'Keep it down! They don't know I'm here' she giggled.

'How did you get in?' He asked.

'I've got my ways, and I know this hospital like the back of my hand' she laughed as she shut the door behind her. 'How come you've been moved here?'

'Suicide attempt' Dan replied. 'It failed'.

'I gathered' Alice smirked. She was now standing directly in front of Dan, her green eyes glittering and her lips curved up into a smile. Dan noticed she had dimples.

'I'm gonna get lonely here' Dan murmured, making an unhappy face.

'Well, I guess I'll have to visit you a lot then, won't I?'

'That would be nice' he said. He wanted to wrap his arms around her tiny frame, hold her close; run his fingers through her silky hair; kiss her.

'I'm not meant to be here' Alice said, reaching up to speak gently in his ear. Her breath made the hairs on the back of Dan's neck stand up.

'You're a naughty girl then, aren't you?' Dan replied, daring to place his hand on her waist.

'Well, that depends' she replied, pulling back and stepping out of Dan's grasp.

'On what?' Dan asked her.

'Wouldn't you like to know?' She teased him. 'I'm gonna go see Chris now, but I'll be back soon. Bye Dan' she gave him a wave before slipping out of his room, shutting the door quietly.

Dan sat down on the bed, it creaked under his weight. His head was filled with Alice's face: her emerald green eyes; her fiery hair to match her personality; her breath-taking smile and the dimples that accompanied it. He grinned as he remembered her words: _'I'll be back soon'_. He wanted her. He knew he'd only known her for less than a week but he wanted her to be his.

Dan lay down on the uncomfortable mattress and turned his head so he faced the wall. He bit his lip in attempt to stop himself from grinning as he thought about Alice. But he couldn't; it was almost as if she's taken over his mind.

He placed his hand on the wall and began to move it without really thinking about it. It calmed Dan down, just rubbing his hand over and over the smooth, white wall. He felt his fingers skim over some cracks and he focused his eyes on the wall. He realised that they weren't just ordinary cracks, it was writing.

"_You'll never get out of here alive". _


	5. I'm going crazy in here

As Dan continued to trace the writing, he wondered about his future. Would he be stuck here for eternity? Or would he be released soon?

'_Phil? What the hell happened?' PJ said breathlessly. 'Where's Dan?'_

_PJ stared at Phil, who was holding an icepack against his forehead. 'Dan' Phil began, his eyes closed. 'Dan was in an accident with him mum'. Phil opened his eyes and his blue eyes locked sadly onto PJ's green ones. 'He hit me when he found out that she didn't make it'. _

'_Let's go see him' PJ placed a comforting hand on Phil's shoulder. _

'_We're not allowed' Phil said shakily. 'It's…'_

'_It's not what?' PJ asked gently. _

'_It's not safe, PJ. Dan's violent' Phil began to physically shake. 'They're going to keep him here overnight, keep an eye on him. What if they take him away permanently, PJ?' Phil asked worriedly. _

'_They won't, Phil. Don't worry' PJ tried to comfort his distraught friend. _

_Phil loved his best friend more than anything, in a platonic way. He and Dan were so close; they were like two peas in a pod. They did everything together and told each other everything. But now Phil had lost him. His best friend. _

'_It must have been awful to see his mum like that' PJ carried on, referring to Dan and the car accident. _

_Phil nodded. They both knew why Dan acted like he did and they both wished that they could have helped him. _

_That was four years ago, in Manchester, before they'd moved to London. Four years ago that changed their lives. _

'Hello Daniel' Dr Fischer greeted a sullen Dan. 'How are you?'

'Fine' Dan muttered, picking at a loose thread on his shirt. 'Can I be moved back to my old ward now, please?'

Dr Fischer tapped his pen against the table and looked deep in thought. He seemed to consider it for a moment for shaking his head. 'Sorry Dan, but you're going to have to be in isolation for a good few more weeks. We're still concerned about your welfare'.

'Fuck' Dan said under his breath.

'Sorry Daniel, but it's for your own good'.

'Oh yeaaaah' Dan murmured sarkily, drawing out the 'a' in his reply. 'See you next week' he snapped before storming out of the room in anger.

Dr Fischer continued to sit in his chair in bemusement at Dan's sudden departure. His medication probably needed updating.

'Fuck this shit' Dan whispered as he stormed down the empty corridors to his ward. 'I fucking hate this place'.

He reached his room and sat on his bed, pressing his palms into his forehead. 'Let me go' he begged no one in particular. 'I'm going crazy in here'.

'You're already crazy' Dan heard a voice say lightly. 'That's why you're here, isn't it?' The redhead danced into the room.

'Thanks, I knew I could count on you Alice to restore my faith in myself. Where would I be without you?'

'Probably dead' Alice laughed. 'But in all seriousness, how are you?'

'Fucked up' Dan replied simply. 'I'm staying in this shitty-ass ward for another few weeks'.

'I know someone who could bust you out' Alice leaned forward, her green eyes lighting up.

'Oh sure' Dan mocked her. 'Sure you could'.

'Well, if you don't believe me, then….' She trailed off. 'How long have you been in here now, anyway?'

'What's the date?' Dan replied.

'Don't answer my question with a question, you knob' she giggled. 'But it's September the 9th'.

'_WHERE IS SHE?' Dan screamed as he ran down the hospital corridor. 'WHERE'S MY MUM?'_

'_Daniel, calm down for a moment and I'll tell you' a doctor rested his hand on Dan's shoulder, preventing him from going any further. 'You okay now?'_

_Dan nodded. 'Where is she' he croaked. _

_The doctor's grip on Dan's shoulder tightened. He paused for a few moments before answering him. 'She didn't make it, Dan. I'm so sorry'._

_Dan sunk to his knees the tears beginning to flow. 'It's all my fault' he sobbed, his tears making a pool on the linoleum floor. He began to hit the floor in anger, not caring about the physical pain. He didn't care anymore. His mum was dead._

Dan's body froze before he jumped up, causing Alice to leap back in shock at the sudden movement. He began to pace around the room, his hands raking his dark hair, screaming in frustration.

'Dan?' Alice asked. 'Dan what's wrong?' There was no answer and Dan's shouts became ominously louder. 'DAN!' She screamed, and placed her hands on his shoulders, turning him to face her. 'Tell me what's wrong' she begged.

'It's my mum's birthday' he sobbed, pulling Alice into a tight hug. His tears soaked into her knitted jumper. 'She would have been 45 today'.

'I'm so sorry' Alice whispered to Dan, patting his back gently. 'I really am'.

'I want to see her' Dan whispered back. 'I need to see her. I can't not visit her on her birthday. What kind of son would do that?'

'I'll get you out' Alice said, pulling back so she could properly look at Dan.

'You'd do that for me?'

'Sure' Alice smiled at him. 'Let's go'.


	6. No exceptions

'I'm sorry' Dan whispered and he knelt gently on the ground in front of the headstone. 'I'm sorry about what happened, and I'm sorry that you've got such a fuck-up for son' Dan wiped his tears away angrily. 'I'm so sorry mum. I don't know when I'll be able to visit you next, basically as soon as Alice can get me out again. But it'll be soon, I promise'.

'Ready?' Alice asked as Dan stood up. He nodded in reply and they made their way back to the hospital along the busy streets.

'How are you going to get me back in?' Dan asked Alice and they strolled along. A young woman, no more than early thirties, gave Dan a strange look but he ignored it.

'That would be telling' Alice winked at him and moved slightly closer to him as the crowds got busier. Dan tried not to smile as her hand brushed against his.

'Daniel Howell!' A nurse snapped as soon as Dan and Alice came into the view of the hospital. 'Where on earth have you been?'

Dan turned to Alice but to his surprise, the redhead wasn't there. 'Visiting my mum' he mumbled.

The nurse grabbed him by the shoulders roughly and led him back to the hospital. 'You're not allowed to visit people, Daniel' she said sternly.

'It's her birthday' Dan protested.

'No exceptions'.

Dan by now was close to tears. 'She's dead! I was the one who killed her in the car crash. I just wanted to visit her grave; is that so bad?' he retorted.

The nurse was silent for a moment. 'Don't do it again' was all she said.

'Wait, you're not dropping me in it?' Dan was surprised.

She shook her head. 'No one knows that you were gone, besides me. I can see now that you had a reason for doing it. But please, don't do it again'.

'I won't' Dan replied. 'Thanks'.

'Don't mention it. Seriously, don't mention it. I'll get in trouble if my boss finds out that I'm letting patients off'.

'Okay. Um, thanks Ms…?'

'Thompson' she replied. 'Now off you go to your ward, and try to make sure you're not seen'. She said before walking off.

'Alice?' Dan called out when he was safely in his room. 'Alice?' Alice?' his voice was getting increasingly frantic. 'ALICE?'

There was no reply, no grinning redhead in the doorway.

'Daniel?' A voice said.

'Alice!' Dan said happily.

'No, not 'Alice'' a nurse said. 'Dr Fischer would like a quick chat'.

'Now?'

'Now'.

Dan reluctantly got up and began to walk down the baron hallways to get to the office.

'Boo' a voice said, making Dan jump.

Alice stepped out of a small alcove and smiled at Dan.

'Where did you go earlier?'

'I didn't want the nurse to see me, in case she stopped me from visiting you altogether' Alice shrugged. 'And Chris' she added after a moment's thought. 'Where you goin'?'

'Dr Fischer's office' Dan replied. 'Care to join me?'

'Got nothing else to do' Alice laughed. 'So I might as well'.

'Thanks for helping me get out earlier' Dan said softly. 'It means a lot, y'know?'

'It was nothing' she said modestly. 'Just glad I could help'.

Dan turned his head to smile at the girl because he couldn't conjure up anymore words of thanks.

'Hi Dan' Dr Fischer greeted him.

'Hey. Can Alice stay?' Dan asked as they sat down in the office, Alice hovering in the doorway.

Dr Fischer blinked and rubbed his chin. 'Sure, Alice can stay'.

Alice took a seat by Dan smiled encouragingly at him.

'Okay Daniel, you've got to co-operate with me on this, alright? I know this may be a touchy subject but you've got to work through it, otherwise you're never going to get better'.

Dan reached for Alice's hand and clasped it tightly. 'Okay….' He mumbled, unsure of what was coming next.

'Dan' Dr Fischer started. 'What happened to your mother?'

'I killed her' Dan whispered, holding onto Alice's hand more tightly.

'Did you mean to?'

'No' Dan croaked, shaking his head venomously.

'Dan, do you like to fight?' The doctor asked.

'What do you mean?' Alice snapped.

The doctor carried on calmly. 'Do you like to hurt people?'

'It was an accident! I swear!' he said desperately.

Dr Fischer scribbled something down before closing the file shut.

'Why did you crash the car?' The doctor asked. 'Were you drinking beforehand?'

'No' Alice snapped, her green eyes blazing. 'Dan, we're done here. Come on' she said, pulling his hand in attempt to get him up, glaring at the doctor.

The doctor carried on as if Alice hadn't even spoken. 'Or was it an attempted suicide attempt; forgetting that there were other people in the car?'

'Dan,_ come_' Alice's voice was heavy with desperation, pulling him once more.

This time, Dan obliged. He shook his head once at the doctor before exiting the room, Alice still holding onto his hand.

Dr Fischer sighed as he stood up and he walked over to his desk. He got a book out and looked through it until he found what he needed. He grabbed the phone and waited for someone to pick up.

'Hello? Mr Lester? We've got a bit of a problem'.


	7. Leave us in peace

'I don't think I'm meant to be out here' Dan protested as Alice pulled him outside into the institution's courtyard.

'Come on Dan, live a little' Alice giggled as she gripped onto his hand, pulling him further out.

'What if we get caught?' Dan asked.

Alice shook her head mockingly. 'We won't Dan, don't worry about it'.

They walked over to a stone bench and sat down,

'Why did you clam up in there?' Alice asked Dan gently, her thumb rubbing small circles on the back of Dan's hand.

'It's a sensitive subject' Dan replied, looking down at the gravel.

'It sometimes helps to let it all out, y'know? You can trust me, you know that'.

'I know Alice. It's just difficult'.

'I know' Alice murmured.

'What?' Dan looked at Alice in surprise.

'Chris' she said, motioning to the building behind her. 'I know that something went on but my parents never told me what's actually wrong with him. I feel like I'm in the dark a lot of time, y'know?'

'Yeah, I know' Dan said softly, turning to face her. 'But when I'm with you, the darkness fades. You make me happy, Alice'.

Dan shuffled closer to the redhead and tilted his head slightly before moving it until his lips met Alice's. Her hands moved to his waist and one of his moved to the small of her back.

Dan pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, his brown eyes looking into her green ones. 'I'm really glad I've met you' he smiled.

'I am too' she replied before kissing him again.

'No Alice today?' Dr Fischer asked when Dan sat down in the office.

Dan shook his head glumly. 'She's visiting Chris'.

'You two seem to be spending a lot of time together, right?'

'Yeah' Dan smiled. 'She makes me the happiest guy on earth. I don't know where I'd be without her'.

Dr Fischer nodded. 'You do seem a lot happier when she's around' he remarked. 'Anyway, moving on from Alice. I've decided to move you back to the main ward'.

Dan gasped. Was he for real? 'Seriously?!'

'Yes' the doctor nodded, trying to conceal his delight with Dan's clear happiness.

'So I'm gonna be back with Chris? And I can have visitors?'

'Yes and yes'.

'When?'

'Whenever you want' was the doctor's reply.

'What did I tell you Alice?' PJ tried to hide his anger at the girl's visit to the café.

'I don't know PJ' Alice retorted, smiling.

PJ wasn't in the mood for Alice's irritating happiness. Hell, he wasn't in the mood for her at all.

'I told you to leave me alone' he replied, his voice shaking with anger.

'Can I have a Chai Latte please?' Alice asked, as if PJ hadn't spoken at all.

PJ sighed and turned to make her order. He made it quickly, shoved it across the counter and snatched Alice's money before dumping it in the till. Her surprise visit had killed his good mood.

Alice grabbed her drink and made her way to a seat by the window. PJ stared after the girl, deep in thought.

'Excuse me!' a voice said sharply.

PJ suddenly focused on the blonde haired girl behind the counter and smiled tightly. 'Apologies, I'm not with it today. What would you like?'

'Medium hot chocolate please, with cream' she replied, smiling at PJ. 'You'd better wake up; it's only 9:20am. You still have the whole day ahead of you'.

PJ nodded, rubbing his forehead as the milk heated up. He made her drink quickly and slid it to her.

'£2.30 please' he said. 'Would you like some sprinkles?'

The blonde grinned. 'Oh go on then'. PJ noticed that her nose crinkled when she smiled.

'This may be a little forward but, uh' the girl started nervously. 'But would you like to go out sometime? I'm Josey'.

'PJ' he replied, holding out his hand. He studied Josey, she was pretty, _really _pretty. Dark blonde hair, grey eyes and she was tall, around 5"7. Not like Alice at all. 'And yeah, that would be great, I'd love that'.

Josey smiled. 'Here's my number' she said shyly, handing PJ a napkin with her number written on.

'I'll ring you as soon as I can' PJ promised her before she moved away to let him serve the next customer.

He checked his watch, 10:47. He looked over to the window and to his surprise, Alice was still there. Almost as if she could feel his stare, she looked over and began to walk up to him.

'Who's the chick?' She said snidely.

'It's none of your business' PJ snapped at her.

'I am aware, I'm just curious. Old PJ's got a girlfriend? How long's it been?'

'Have you got a boyfriend then?' He retorted.

'Maybeeee' she drawled out, winking at him.

'Do I know him? Should I warn him?'

'Yes you do know him. Very well may I add' she said, staring at him, her gaze hard.

The penny then dropped for PJ. 'Dan? Are you fucking serious? DAN?'

'Well, technically, we're not together. But we both like each other...'

'He's allowed to be near _you?' _PJ let the distaste crawl into his voice. 'Are the doctors mad?'

'I'm a good influence' she smirked.

'Good influence my arse'.

Alice didn't reply, she only sneered at him.

'He's in there for a fucking reason Alice, the same reason I was and the same reason that Chris's in there. And you're not going to be fucking helping him. You're going to make him worse. You're not a good person Alice, you and I both know that. But Dan doesn't. And that's why you need to stay the hell away from him'.

'You're not my mother' Alice said angrily.

'Thank fuck I'm not. But if you don't promise to leave him alone, I'll make you. I'll make sure that doctors know. You know Phil? Dan's roommate? Well, he's a lawyer and he can make it so damn easy for Dan to not see you again. Get it?'

Alice glared at PJ, her eyes burning with anger, her jaw tight.

'Leave us alone Alice. I mean it. Leave us all in peace'.


	8. If I die in here, then you will too

'Hey Chris' Dan said as he saw Chris walking towards him.

'Hey Dan, watcha doin' here?' Chris looked confused, his forehead wrinkled with confusion.

'I've been moved back' Dan said proudly.

'That's great' Chris seemed genuinely pleased for his friend but Dan could tell he had something else on his mind.

'Chris' Dan said, gently shaking his arm. 'Chris, you alright?'

Chris blinked, 'what? Yeah, sure I'm fine'.

Dan didn't look convinced but he let it slide. 'Have you seen Alice? I need to tell her my news'.

That's when Chris snapped. 'Fine, you want to know what's upsetting me? It's the fact that my own damned sister would prefer to visit psycho than her own fucking brother!'

'I'm not a psycho' Dan said quietly.

Chris laughed. 'Then why are you in here?'

Dan was silent; his dark brows knitted together, his hands were white.

'Alice doesn't love you' Chris carried on. 'You're only a distraction for her'.

'You're wrong. Alice does love me. You've been here for what, seven years? And you still haven't been released, yet alone made any progress. You'll be here for the rest of your damned life. You'll die in here, Chris'.

'We're the same, you and I' Chris said, motioning to him. 'So that means if I die in here, then you will too'.

Phil's phone vibrated in his suit pocket. He pulled it out and checked the caller name. It was Dr Fischer, Dan's, let's say, therapist.

'Excuse me, this is important. Please carry on without me. Andy, can you fill me in later please?' Phil said as he exited the meeting room. 'Phil Lester' he said into his mobile.

'Afternoon Mr Lester, I hope I haven't interrupted anything' Dr Fischer replied. 'I need to talk to you about Daniel'.

Phil stiffened. 'What's wrong with him?'

'Nothing in particular, but I would like you to come down to the hospital so I can talk to you about him'.

'I'll be right there' Phil said shortly as he hung up and pocketed his phone. He walked quickly towards the elevator and pressed for the ground floor.

'Marie' he said to the blonde receptionist. 'I need a taxi. Right now. It's urgent'.

'Just a moment, Mr Lester' Marie turned and made a phone call.

Phil tapped his foot impatiently against the marble flooring. He looked at his watch, twelve thirty-five. 'Hurry up' he muttered under his breath.

'Please, Mr Lester, take a seat while you wait' Marie said, tapping away at the keyboard in front of her.

'Thank you, but I'd rather stand'.

'Very well'.

Phil was grateful that Marie didn't carry on the conversation, the last thing he felt like was making unnecessary chit-chat.

'The taxi's outside, Mr Lester' Marie said five minutes later'.

'Thanks'.

Phil arrived at the hospital and jumped out of the taxi, throwing a few crisp notes at the driver. He didn't need the change.

'Mr Lester' Dr Fischer greeted Phil. 'Have a seat'.

Phil sat down on the chair and looked at the doctor expectantly.

The doctor removed his glasses and rested his chin in his hands. 'So, about Daniel. We've moved him back to the man ward as we felt he was no longer such a danger to himself that he needed to be kept in isolation'.

'That's good' Phil murmured.

'However, I'd like to talk to you about Daniel's acquaintances, or friends, in his current ward. Mainly Chris and Alice Kendall'.

'What about them?'

'I feel that as Dan's making good progress, Chris and Alice may set him back. Chris is unstable himself which could affect Daniel negatively. Whilst Alice, though stable, seems to be distracting or leading Daniel astray, meaning his progression time will be longer. And I mean that in the nicest possible way'. Dr Fischer put his glasses back on and looked at Phil in the eyes. 'If we want Daniel to get better more quickly, then that'd mean removing him from his friends'.

Phil was silent for a moment. 'I…. Uh….. I know Chris, but I…. Um…. I don't know Alice. I didn't know Chris has a sister'.

'Well, you're slightly more informed now' Dr Fischer let a brief smile settle on his lips before it disappeared again. 'So what I would like to suggest is, that Daniel gets released today. But only on the terms that he's to have no contact with either of the Kendall's. How do you feel about that?'

'That sounds….' Phil took in a deep breath. 'Great'.

'Good, but you need to tell Daniel that he's to have no contact whatsoever with Chris or Alice, understood?'

'Yes, I'll tell him'.

'Good. But I'll regularly visit Daniel to make sure he's coping well and there'll also be a nurse with Daniel for a few hours a day, just to keep an eye on him as I'm sure you're very busy. Daniel and I will also keep on with the weekly appointments here as I'd like to continue seeing him'.

'Okay, great. I appreciate all you've done for Dan, Doctor'.

Dr Fischer smiled. 'You're very welcome, Mr Lester, it's nice that you two are so close. I'm sure that this hasn't been easy on you either'.

Phil shook his head. 'No….' he trailed off.

'Anyway, here's my card with my mobile number on it. So if ever you need to get in contact, don't hesitate to do so'.

Phil pocketed the card. 'Thank you'.

'I'll see to the paperwork and you go and find Daniel to explain to him, yes?'

'Bye' Phil walked out of the office to find Dan'.

'Phil!' Dan cried as he saw his best friend approaching him. He ran forward and hugged Phil tightly.

'Dan! I've got some great news'.

They parted and Dan looked at Phil expectantly.

'You're coming home'.

'Wh….Wh….What?' Dan was shocked. 'You mean now? Like, today?'

Phil chuckled at Dan's excitement and confusion. 'Yes, today. But Dr Fischer's given you some rules you have to abide otherwise you won't get to leave'.

'What are they?' Dan said anxiously.

Phil took a deep breath. He knew this would hurt Dan. 'You're to no contact with Chris or Alice whatsoever. Dr Fischer explained his reasoning, he just wants the best for you, Dan'.

Dan stared at Phil, his brown eyes wide. 'So I won't ever be able to see Chris, or Alice, again?'

Phil shook his head. 'It's either you obey those rules and get the hell out of here. Or ignore them, and be here for even longer. It's your choice, mate' Phil said softly.

Dan looked torn. 'Can I go and say goodbye to Alice and Chris now then?'

'Sure. Meet me back here when you're done'.

'Chris' Dan said quietly as he approached him. 'Chris, can I talk to you?'

Chris turned around slowly, his gaze hard. 'Make it quick then'.

'I'm getting released. Like, now. I just wanted to say bye and, uh, thank you for helping me' Dan rushed.

Chris' face softened. 'That's great, Dan. I'm honestly really happy for you. I hope you'll come back and visit me'.

Dan paused. 'Yeah… Um…. Dr Fischer's given me some rules that I can see either you or Alice otherwise I won't get released. Fucking stupid rules….'

'That sucks, but if Dr Fischer's adamant about it, then it must be for a good reason, huh?'

'Guess so. I'll see you, bro' Dan hugged Chris tightly. 'Thanks again'.

'Alice!' Dan yelled as soon as he saw the small redhead enter his vision.

'Hey Dan' she laughed. 'You seem in a good mood'.

'I'm getting released! I'm going to be out of this hellhole!'

'That's brilliant!' She replied as Dan swung her round. 'I'm so happy for you!'

Dan set her down and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. 'I couldn't have done it without you'.

'Nonsense' she smiled. 'Remember what you said?'

'No?'

'You said, and I quote, 'if I'm out of here before you're 23, then you have to marry me''.

'Oh yeah' Dan grinned then his smile faded as he remembered the damned rules. 'We have a bit of a problem….'

'Elaborate'.

'The only way I can get out of here is if I have no contact with you or Chris. At all. It's Dr Fischer's orders'.

Alice's smile fell. 'Hey, um, no worries. I just want you to get better'. She moved forwards and hugged him.

'Thank you' he said quietly into her ear. He leaned back and looked into her green eyes.

'Maybe in the future, I'll see you' she said hopefully.

'I'm not waiting that long. Screw Dr Fischer's rules; I don't care. I'm not leaving you, Alice. Even if I have to climb out of a window to see you, I will'.

Alice giggled. 'Dan, you live in an apartment'.

'I mean it, Alice. I'll be with you to the end'.


	9. You should look out for her

'Dan!' Phil shouted.

'What?'

'Have you taken your morning medicine?' Phil asked as Dan walked into the living room.

'Yeah' Dan looked at the floor.

'Have you? Dan, do you want to get better?'

'Fine, I'll go take them now' Dan snapped and walked to the bathroom. He picked up the prescription bottle and stared at the long, white pills inside. He opened the cap and poured two into his hand. 'I want to get better. I want to get better' he murmured to himself before putting them in his mouth and swallowing them dry. He placed the bottle carefully back on the shelf and stared into the mirror, his hands on the edge of the sink. Dan remembered when he was a little boy and he would dress up as a monster for Halloween, but now, he didn't need to dress up – he _was _a monster.

'Dan?' Phil knocked on the door. 'Are you okay in there?'

Dan shook himself. 'Fine' he replied, hoping his voice didn't display the despair he was feeling inside. He wanted Alice, he missed her. He hadn't seen her in over two weeks and he felt lonely without her. She was the spark in his life, the only light in the darkness of his mind. He wanted her, he _needed _her.

'Chris? Here are your meds' the young nurse held out her hand and Chris reluctantly opened his palm.

'Thanks' he mumbled and stared at them. Four pills, two white ones, one red and one green.

'Wait!' He called out at the nurse's disappearing back. 'What's the time?'

The nurse paused and looked at her wrist. 'Eight thirty, why?'

'No reason' Chris replied shakily. He walked to his baron room and sat down on the creaky bed, placing his head in his hands. Then slowly, silently, he began to cry. This was the first time Alice had missed her visit in seven years.

'Dan' Dr Fischer said as Dan opened the apartment door.

'What do you want?' Dan said tiredly.

'Just checking up on you, can I come in?'

Dan reluctantly opened the door wider to let the doctor in and he led him to the living room and gestured to him to take a seat.

'I've been taking my meds, if that's what you want to know. I haven't missed any whatsoever'.

'That's great Dan, really great' Dr Fischer smiled. 'But that's not why I'm here; I want to talk to you about your medications'.

'Sure, but can I tell you something before?'

'Go ahead' the doctor leaned back into the sofa and crossed his arms, staring intently at Dan.

'I miss Alice, I really, really miss her' Dan rushed. 'I feel lost without her, she's amazing and she's the only brightness I have in my otherwise dark life. I feel incomplete without her by my side. I don't know what I'd do without her. I think I'd die, I'd kill myself, Doc, I really would'.

'Well, Dan' since Dan had been released from the hospital, Dr Fischer had started calling him Dan instead of Daniel. 'I know you're not allowed to see her but seeing as you're improving, I might make amends to that rule though I can't guarantee that she'll be yours forever. But I'm sure she would never just leave you, she loves you too much for that'. Dr Fischer smiled at his patient. 'Let's talk about your pills now, shall we?'

'Dan!' PJ cried as he saw his old friend walk into the café. 'How've you been?'

Dan walked up to the counter. 'Good thanks man, and yourself? I got released from hospital a few weeks ago and according to my Doc, I'm getting better' Dan let out a wide grin.

'Dude! That's awesome! If you hold on a few, I'll be on my lunch break and we can chat then, yeah?'

'Sure'.

'Drink?'

'Caramel Macchiato please' Dan said proudly, remembering that that was Alice's usual order.

PJ frowned, nodding along. He also remembered his ex-girlfriend's favourite drink; he used to make it all the time.

'See you in a min' Dan said as he grabbed the cup and made his way to a booth in the corner by the window.

A few minutes later, PJ sat down opposite Dan and looked at the mug in front of Dan.

'You should look out for her'.

'What?' Dan stared at PJ. 'What do you mean?'

'Look, it's none of my business but you're my friend and I want to look out for you. You should be careful; she's dangerous'.

Dan pushed his mug away from him and stood up, looking PJ dead in the eye. 'You're right; it is none of your business'.


	10. Just don't do anything stupid

'I'm off out' Dan said to Phil as he zipped up his coat.

'Where are you going?' Phil asked, frowning at Dan.

'To see Alice' Dan replied, pulling on his dirty shoes.

'Does Dr Fischer know?' Phil questioned, staring hard at his best friend.

'Yeah' he snapped. 'He was the one who said it was okay for me to see her'.

Phil felt uneasy as Dan stepped out of the apartment and slammed the door behind him but he ignored the feeling and sat down to watch TV, hoping the sense would soon leave.

'Come on Alice' Dan muttered as he rubbed his hands together. 'Hurry up'.

Darkness was beginning to fall and the air was flaked with drops of snow, whirling around Dan's head. It was cold and Dan only had a lightweight jacket on. The wetness from the wooden bench he was sat on began to seep into his jeans, making him shiver.

'Alice?' Dan heard footsteps and jumped up. But he sat down again as a couple passed him, hand in hand. They frowned at the tall, brown haired lad only wearing a thin jacket before carrying on their conversation. Dan stared after them, his mind beginning to wonder. Maybe Alice had got caught up with visiting Chris or the snow had prevented her from travelling. _Or maybe she just forgot _a little voice in Dan's head whispered. He shook his head as if to demolish the thought. No, Alice wouldn't forget, she wasn't like that.

Dan waited on the cold, park bench for four hours before admitting defeat. His hands and feet were numb and his wet clothes stuck to him.

'Are you okay?' Phil exclaimed in concern as he opened the apartment door to see Dan standing there. 'What's wrong?'

'She didn't show' Dan mumbled in reply.

'Who didn't? Oh, Alice?'

'Yeah' Dan said, pushing past Phil into the living room.

Phil sighed; Dan was going to be in a foul mood for the rest of the night. This wasn't like Dan; he never used to be like this. It was the accident that changed him.

'Go and take a shower, Dan' Phil said gently to his best friend.

'Why didn't she show?' Dan cried, jumping up. 'Does she not love me anymore? Does she hate me? Does she think I'm a waste of space?'

'No, of course she doesn't, Dan' Phil said softly to the worked-up boy. 'A lot of the roads are closed because of the weather, she probably couldn't get there'.

Dan relaxed slightly. 'Do you think?'

'I'm pretty sure of it. Now, go and take a shower and I'll cook dinner. Chilli con carne?'

'Dan, you need to get up' Phil said as he stood in the darkened room.

Dan hadn't left his room in over a week. The curtains were still drawn and a musty smell was beginning to fill the space.

'Dan' Phil was more insistent. 'Get up or I'm calling Dr Fischer'.

'She's left me, Phil' Dan said in a ragged tone.

'Has anyone else seen her?'

'No one' Dan said so quietly Phil had to strain to hear him.

'We'll go down to the police station and file a missing person report, okay?'

''K. Thanks' Dan mumbled before turning over and pulling the duvet over his head.

'No, Dan. You're coming with me. She's your friend' Phil said tightly. He was getting fed up of Dan's attitude.

'I miss her'.

'Well, unless you do something about it, that's all you'll ever feel towards her. Now, up'. Phil pulled the duvet away from Dan and dumped it on the floor. 'I'll see you in 15'.

'Okay, Sir, we'll do our best to find her' a red-headed police man said to Phil.

'Thank you' Phil replied and nudged Dan.

'Oh yeah, thanks' Dan mumbled in reply as Phil pushed him towards the door.

'We'll be in contact if we hear or see anything' the officer said kindly to the two dark haired men.

'Do you want to go for coffee, Dan?' Phil asked as he took in Dan's worn, tired face.

'I don't care'.

'Let's go then, it's not far away'.

A bell tinkled as Phil pushed open the door and warm air greeted them.

'You go grab a seat and I'll order' Phil told Dan.

'Hey Phil! How you doin'?' PJ greeted his friend.

'Not too bad thanks. I'm worried about Dan, though'. Phil briefly explained that one of Dan's friends had gone missing.

'What if this person doesn't want to be found, especially by Dan?' PJ regretted the words as soon as they exited his mouth. 'I did-'.

'I know what you meant' Phil said quickly. 'But I called the hospital today; Dr Fischer contacted me as soon as he heard what was going on'. Phil leaned closer. 'He said that Dan had shared something very deep with him. Both of us are worried about him, he's acting suicidal without her'.

'Should you get him emitted again?' PJ asked Phil worriedly.

Phil shook his head. 'It'll probably trigger him. We'll leave it for moment being, anyway'.

PJ slid the drinks over the counter and Phil reached into his pocket. 'They're on me'.

'Thanks, mate. Oh, and by the way, have you seen a girl called Alice?'

PJ froze. 'Not since last week' his tone was short. 'Why?'

'That's the name of Dan's friend. The girl who's gone missing'. Phil picked up the drinks and wondered over to the table where Dan was sat.

PJ felt bad. He'd been through that before. And he'd barely made it out alive. He had to warn Dan.

PJ was deep in thought when he felt a presence on the other side of the counter. He looked up to see Dan standing there.

''Ey' he said lowly.

Dan looked at him, confused.

'So, she's missing, is she?'

Dan nodded, a frown creasing his forehead. 'Why?'

PJ gulped. 'Listen, I've been through the same sort of scenario but I can't tell you everything. Just don't do anything stupid, okay?

Dan looked confused as PJ looked at him. His face was gaunt and dark circles were beginning to become a permanent fixture under his dull eyes. He looked just like PJ had looked a couple of years ago.

'Just don't do anything stupid'.


	11. But he knew

The TV droned on monotonously in the living room as both Dan and Phil stood in the kitchen preparing dinner. All of a sudden, a loud crash filled the air and Phil jumped to see Dan staring at the wall with a bowl in his hands, and another smashed on the floor.

'Dan! What the hell?' Phil shouted.

'I WANT HER BACK!' Dan screamed, throwing the bowl against the white wall, where it joined the remains of glass on the floor from the other object Dan had thrown. 'I WANT ALICE!'

'I know you do, Dan' Phil said calmly, hoping Dan would settle down.

'NO! YOU DON'T KNOW! I'M EMPTY PHIL, I'M NUMB. I FEEL LOST AND HOPELESS WITHOUT HER' Dan picked up a glass and hurled it towards Phil. It flew over his shoulder and shattered as it hit the cabinet behind him.

Dan's eyes were red and lifeless. His lips were trembling and his heart was breaking. Dan's voice was cracked and dull and Phil could tell how broken his best friend was.

'I know, Dan. I know' Phil went over to Dan and sat on the floor with him, surrounded by pieces of broken glass.

'We'll find her, Dan' Phil said softly.

'I want her' Dan croaked. 'I w- want to d-d-d-die with-without he-her' he stuttered.

Phil closed his eyes and stood up and began to clear away the bits of glass. 'We'll find her, okay? Now, let's get you into bed, Dan. You're running on empty'.

Wordlessly, Phil helped Dan into his room and waited until the other boy fell asleep before moving to his office.

'Dr Fischer?' Phil spoke into his phone. 'It's Phil, Daniel Howell's room mate'.

'Hi, Phil. What can I do for you?' Dr Fischer's voice seemed relatively cheery.

Phil took in a deep breath and explained the situation. 'Have you seen her?' He finally asked the doctor.

'Phil' the doctor said, his words soft but also worried. 'Alice isn't missing'.

'Then why has she left Dan? He hasn't seen her or heard from her at all'.

'Phil, that's not what I'm trying to say'.

Phil stared at the painting on his office wall, waiting for Dan's doctor to carry on.

'When people end up in this hospital, it's because something happened to them-'

'I know that' Phil cut in.

The doctor carried on as if Phil hadn't even spoken. 'Things also continue to happen to them. They start seeing things, believing in the unknown'. He cleared his throat. 'Dan met Alice through Chris, and although Alice is Chris' sister, she's not real'.

'What? That's crazy!' Phil exclaimed, his heart racing. 'But her and Dan… They met….'

'Listen to me' the doctor said calmly. 'She's not real, Phil. Alice died seven years ago'.

Phil dropped the phone and stared at it, his mind going into overdrive.

'Phil?' He heard Dr Fischer's voice on the end of the line.

'I'll call you back' he said raggedly before ending the call.

Phil didn't know how many minutes he sat in silence in his office before he heard a loud crack. It was the sound he never wanted to hear, the sound that no one ever wants to hear.

'DAN!' Phil screamed as he rushed to his best friend's bedroom. He twisted the handle but it was locked. Regardless, he tried again and again to get in.

But he knew. He knew that when he opened that door his best friend would be swinging from the ceiling. He knew it would be too late.

Phil moved back and ran to the door, throwing his entire body weight against the wood. The door clattered down as the hinges broke.

And there, just as Phil had suspected, there was his best friend, swinging from the ceiling.

Phil walked over and gently lifted Dan down. Phil knew. He knew it was over; the pain and the suffering his best friend had gone through. He walked silently over to his best friend's desk where one final note lay.

'_I think I knew that she was only my imagination, that's why it felt so real.'_


End file.
